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ERIKA K.,

Lol, that's how I knew you a year ago. Simply as Erika K., a pretty girl from Vegas, hurt like I once was, who screwed up and now is in a program. Now I finally found you again, and it seems like we both are mirrors of each other. We look at each other, and get irritated and pissed off, and it seems like the reason is because we are so alike:-Yeah, I know, weird, but I guess it's true. Let me start off by saying that yes, I have been a jerk the past few days. But I think I finally figured it out. Like I have told you a million times, I'm not like every other guy. I know that all guys say that, but I'm different. I, as much as I HATE to admit it, don't have very good "game." For most guys it comes naturally, and for the longest time, it bothered me. But then it hit me, I don't want to have "game," cause that's all it really is ... a game. I like real, I like truth, I don't like fake. I'm a lover. I like to give out my heart. I hate that I get hurt because of it, but I know that if one day I'll find a girl who is willing to give me her heart too and not play "game", and that is when I'll be happy. Erika, I can't play hard to get. It's stupid, and more than that, it's absolutely pointless. 11 ~ months of not seeing you and then finding you I think was the greatest "Chase" ever. But ask yourself; do you really want me to play hard to get? If I do play it, then I'm just like every other guy. Is that what you want? Or do you want someone unique, someone different and sensitive and caring to your needs. If that's not what you want, then I'm not the guy for you. I really liked you because you went to Cross Creek, and I figured that that'd make you real too. I think that's why I'm not that scared of being with you. Because you don't want to be hurt anymore than I do. It's funny because the more that I hear that you want to see game from me to be more attracted, I'm turned off. I want real, I don't want game! That's the only way I can put it. You told me in the car that if I wanted to have sex with you the other night, I could've. DUH! I know! But I didn't want that from you...! I want YOU! Erika, not sex, not a pretty girl, not money, YOU!! I want to be able to tell you everything. I want the truth all out. I also want to tell you that if you want a guy that will be fake and hide the truth from you, then once again, that's not me. I'm not afraid to call shit as I see it, and I will not hesitate to point something out to you. You know what really works? If you truly feel like you "have to" pick shit out about me ... then at lest do it right. Write it all down on a piece of paper, PROS AND CONS! Weigh it out. Then you'll know. You are so scared and I know. It's transparent. I just want to be there and help prove to you that you don't have to be afraid. If you think that I am going to put you up on a pedestal and crash if something happens to us, well then let me comfort you ... it ain't gonna happen!!! I love myself way too much to kill myself or hurt myself, lol! Plus I'm a chicken when it comes to pain anyway!! Lol! If I'm not what you are looking for, then tell me. Don't tell me you need time, or space, or to convince yourself to like me. Grow balls and tell me. It's all good, better now then in 6 months of a relationship. It's funny, because before I wrote this letter, I had tons and tons to tell you, and I thought that it was going to be 20 pages long. But you know what? These are my feelings, and they can't be written. I just want you to know that from now on, everything is going to be different. The past few days I have been trying so hard to change myself to be a certain way for you. No more. I am Yonie. I am who I am, and that's that. If you give me the opportunity and the chance, I know that you won't be disappointed. But you know what, if you don't want it, there is some girl out there I'm sure who wants to be held and loved, and who will love me back, and will let me have her heart. I hate to see how upset and hurt you are. It's BULLSHIT. To be honest, I don't even know what to say to you that I have not already said to you in the past. You know where I stand. Sweet heart, all I can say to you is don't let fear run you, because the happiness that comes out of taking the chance is far greater than any hurt you can feel. I told you before, whether the chance is going to be with me or someone else, you will never find anybody "perfect" with your eyes closed. "Based on results, you will have exactly what you intend." It's not bullshit, it's for real. My dad told me that in life, you have to always ask the question, "What is the lesson being taught to me from this situation?", because nothing happens without a reason or by coincidence. Why did we meet? Why now? Why here? Why through Andre? They say no accidents, so really think about why. Maybe I'm not here for you to date. Maybe I'm just here to open your eyes to how closed you are to the world, and to the "front" you put up everyday. That's not you. I know it's not. I want the real you, or none of you at all. With that, I'm going to end this letter, and go to bed. I'll write you back tomorrow. You have a lot to think about and so do 1. Really try to find out what's really in your heart, not head, and don't be afraid-to tell me. I promise not to judge, only to care. Buh Bye!!!


P.S. Write me back.

XoXoXo

YONIE S.